I wish I were stronger. 

This morning I woke up in fear again.  My mind racing, my chest heavy.  When will I learn?  When will I stop being afraid?

But Jesus is training my heart at this time to lean on Him.  I asked Him again this morning to lead my mind and direct me to His word.  He promised me that the Holy Spirit would remind me of all Jesus has said.  And He is faithful.

He reminded me of something Jesus said about a lost sheep.  I realized this morning that is how I felt.  I was lost in my heart.  The fear I felt in my chest was evidence that my heart had strayed from Jesus and the safety of His flock.  I was out in the wilderness scared by every moving shadow, alert to every sound, and at the mercy of my imagination.  I needed my Shepherd to come to my rescue.  And He did.

“What do you think?  If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine that went astray?  And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray.  So it is not the will of my Father that one of these little ones should perish.” (Matthew 18:12-14)

I put this passage to my minds eye.  I played out this parable as the lost sheep and Jesus as the shepherd.  And as I pictured Jesus doing this for me today, I asked Him not just to put me on His shoulder, but to speak to me.  And this is what the Spirit brought to mind:

Even though you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, there is no need to fear evil, for I am with you, my rod and my staff will comfort you (from Psalm 23:4).

            Fear not you are worth more than many sparrows (Matthew 10:31).

The Lord is faithful to me.  He is faithful to bring me back to Him even in my daily (sometimes hourly!) falling prey to fear.  Thankfully my Shepherd is good.  “For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls” (1 Peter 2:25).   Jesus doesn’t just want to be my Shepherd, He wants to be yours today as well.  May Christ use these words to pull you close in His arms, calm your fears, and give you the assurance to know that He is with you and you can rest in Him today!  In Jesus Name, Amen!